Early on our marriage, I have set my expectations that my marriage is no different than that of managing a business.  Everything I do will create a momentum that will make or break our marriage.  My wife and I have discussed these set of expectations to progress our relationship to a higher level.  The following are the 10 things that wife should be aware she is destroying her husband.

  1.  Materialistic Wife – materialism, in general, is not good at any rate.  The Bible as our foundation clearly stated that the love of money is the root cause of all evil. (Heb 13:5)

    Image from: https://www.lorenzomagri.it/shopping-compulsivo/
  2.  Losing your trust – Trust is so strong that it could build a relationship to last.  I worked in an industry where a long-term relationship with clients should be maintained to strengthen our insurance business.  Across my journey, I keep an undeniable relationship to keep them active and enforce to continue with the service. Same with my wife, I give her what she needs and she kept love. I want her to keep her trust in me wherever I go.
  3. Fastidious Wife – being choosy or demanding will withdraw your husband from making a sensible leadership in a family.  Dr. Val Farmer, a clinical psychologist, answers why women tend to be super demanding because of their Social Deferences
  4.  Negative Wife – I think in any case negativity will spell a great delusion in any relationship.  I don’t want my wife to be negative in our conversation.
  5.  Bilmoko wife – I work as a financial advisor, I want to create a sensible financial stability in our family so I need (my wife) her to be aware of our daily expenses.  I don’t want my wife to be like a child picking anything she sees in the mall realizing she won’t need it when we get home.  That’s a bad financial leadership.

    Image from: https://www.lorenzomagri.it/shopping-compulsivo/
  6.  Losing Physical affection – by experience I tend to be more physically demanding than my wife.  I think this is true to every husband I knew.  I wanted to be hugged and kissed every day.   I have a friend who is a Chinese married to a Pinoy and she rarely kiss and hug her husband in the public because of their culture.  When I chatted with her she realized that she would need to change her mindset on how she shows her affection to her husband.  When my wife does not show affection to me I would ask her to kiss me and hug when she forgets.
  7.  Always misunderstanding – Men are generally more independent, the fear of being misunderstood will spell a great definition on their leadership.
  8.  Nagging your husband – my fathers stayed at home when he became ill, my mother worked instead and makes the money in the family.  I remember her shouting at my father encouraging him to move and be strong.  But that does not create a good response to my father.  When I talked to my father when he was still alive, he said that he was hurt even if my mom does not mean to hurt him.  He said that it affected his condition and made it worst.  Nagging your husband either creates domination in the family or creating even more reactive conflict in the family.
  9.  Losing Communication – communication is the best tool to enhance your relationship in the family.  Constant discussion of anything under the sun will shed some light to some unresolved issues.  As for my wife and I, we always use all the tools available to communicate every day.
  10.  Unappreciative Wife – we express by what love language we convey daily.  It is very important that we communicate our love language.  Your love language could change over time,  recently I got more encouraged when my wife appreciates what I do.  She appreciates when I cook food when massaging her back when changed baby’s diaper when I buy something for her.  Because of this, my role as a husband gets boosted and my sense of being a husband gets well taken cared.

 

Wives, being unaware of these 10 things would affect your relationship with your husband.  The best thing to do is to discuss this with your husband.  Always have caution when talking this straight together.  You always have to consider how your marriage foundation was established so to strengthen and foster your lives together.   I highly suggest that you put on your family values.  Through this, your marriage would have a deeper foundation that is grounded in what you believe in.

When I wrote this article, my goal was to enlighten my wife on what I need.  But the more I dig deeper into my role as a husband, I realized that my role is to guide my wife daily so that she could respond appropriately based on what I need.   Ultimately, the mission that we husbands bring inside the home will define the true essence of our leadership.  No matter what we demand from our wife, the answer will always come from our response.

Yes, its right that you both understand this need from our side, but how we deliver will enable the wives to internalize the whole meaning of this demand.  At the end of the day,  what comes out of our way is to create a harmonious relationship of our family.

Advertisements